His Unfailing Love
As I was thinking to myself and talking to God about how things are tough in certain areas of my life right now, and thinking that perhaps I should write in my new journal, God prodded me to write here instead.
Maybe there's someone out there who can relate, or maybe somebody will lift me up in some much needed prayer, or maybe God knows that this is easier than writing it out by hand... regardless of what the reason, I'm here now.
I feel like I'm constantly being attacked in certain areas of my life over and over, like waves crashing against the shore. I'm quite proud of the progress I've made in dealing with stressful situations and I've been digging my heels into His unfailing love to keep me from being swept away with the tide. God is my rock and His Word keeps me grounded. Thank You Daddy.
By all standards of the college, elementary school, and my own, I am not doing well in my placement. I am working as a student EA in a public school. Without getting into too much back story (because there is so much of it) I made an error in judgment and shared a confidential email with someone who should not have seen it. In addition to that I'm fighting to advocate for a young boy who is on the autism spectrum and being treated unfairly. Trying to overcome my own demons as well, this placement is tiring to say the least.
I've been spending the last couple of hours reflecting on my personal struggles and frustrations. I'm asking God why is it that I'm being attacked? What does He want me to learn from this? What can I tell myself to get me through the days? I'm constantly seeking for what it is Daddy is trying to tell me about the decisions I'm facing every day. Why are things such a mess right now? I don't want to fail. I've failed once, and I don't want to do it again. I can't do it again. I'm doing my best to stand firm in my faith that He makes everything work together for my good. No one experiences hardship without reason - God is constantly preparing us for things. What am I being prepared for?
Perhaps I'm not being called to be an EA. I made the decision before I was born-again and made it based on my perceived abilities at the time. But when we are born-again, our Father transforms us from the inside out. He is still working on my soul and my mind. My spirit is being renewed and the Holy Spirit lives in me also. I can't help but feel like He is calling me to bigger things. Not saying EAs aren't important, but the Lord is telling me to be patient.... I'm in a transition. Perhaps I'm not meant to be in this field.
Of course all this is said with the fear of failure and disappointment looming overhead, which could possibly be clouding my thinking. I will take the words I think I've heard from Papa and just pray over them. Seek guidance and affirmation. What do you want me to do Daddy? Where are we heading? Continue to lead me and place each brick down in front of my feet as I continue to follow You. I trust You with my life. I trust You.
Maybe there's someone out there who can relate, or maybe somebody will lift me up in some much needed prayer, or maybe God knows that this is easier than writing it out by hand... regardless of what the reason, I'm here now.
I feel like I'm constantly being attacked in certain areas of my life over and over, like waves crashing against the shore. I'm quite proud of the progress I've made in dealing with stressful situations and I've been digging my heels into His unfailing love to keep me from being swept away with the tide. God is my rock and His Word keeps me grounded. Thank You Daddy.
By all standards of the college, elementary school, and my own, I am not doing well in my placement. I am working as a student EA in a public school. Without getting into too much back story (because there is so much of it) I made an error in judgment and shared a confidential email with someone who should not have seen it. In addition to that I'm fighting to advocate for a young boy who is on the autism spectrum and being treated unfairly. Trying to overcome my own demons as well, this placement is tiring to say the least.
I've been spending the last couple of hours reflecting on my personal struggles and frustrations. I'm asking God why is it that I'm being attacked? What does He want me to learn from this? What can I tell myself to get me through the days? I'm constantly seeking for what it is Daddy is trying to tell me about the decisions I'm facing every day. Why are things such a mess right now? I don't want to fail. I've failed once, and I don't want to do it again. I can't do it again. I'm doing my best to stand firm in my faith that He makes everything work together for my good. No one experiences hardship without reason - God is constantly preparing us for things. What am I being prepared for?
Perhaps I'm not being called to be an EA. I made the decision before I was born-again and made it based on my perceived abilities at the time. But when we are born-again, our Father transforms us from the inside out. He is still working on my soul and my mind. My spirit is being renewed and the Holy Spirit lives in me also. I can't help but feel like He is calling me to bigger things. Not saying EAs aren't important, but the Lord is telling me to be patient.... I'm in a transition. Perhaps I'm not meant to be in this field.
Of course all this is said with the fear of failure and disappointment looming overhead, which could possibly be clouding my thinking. I will take the words I think I've heard from Papa and just pray over them. Seek guidance and affirmation. What do you want me to do Daddy? Where are we heading? Continue to lead me and place each brick down in front of my feet as I continue to follow You. I trust You with my life. I trust You.
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