Some history
I was born into a Lutheran church where it's all about traditions and rituals and begging God for mercy. I had never had a positive perception of God and the enemy filled me with self loathing, shame and misery. He took advantage of my adolescent years and convinced me that God was the problem not the solution. I've spent the better part of the last 10 years being lost and hopeless like those people who invest all their hearts into others who will inevitably let them down because that's what people do.. we are not strong enough to support ourselves in times of need let alone others. Only with God's help.
Point is, it wasn't until a couple years ago that I started letting down my defenses and realizing that no matter what I did I wasn't happy. I was sleeping around trying to find someone who would love me. Someone who would validate my existence and tell me I'm beautiful. There was a huge hole in my heart and I couldn't get any peace. I developed a social anxiety disorder and my world kept getting smaller and smaller. I used food to make me temporarily feel better from all the tough stuff that was going on in my life.
This past Christmas I went to a Christian Conference for young adults (unrelated to the church I grew up in). The love I experienced there not only from others but from God Himself changed my life. I realized although I foolishly thought otherwise, He never stopped loving me even when I turned my back on Him and denied his existence for years. YEARS.
It moved me so much that my life will never be the same. You can't deny your experiences. I want to share with everyone the freedom you get from surrendering your life, your fears, your pain, your sorrow, even the good times.. everything to God.
I haven't figured out yet how to allure people to choose Jesus as their personal God and Saviour. I know all too well what a turn off those "Bible thumpers" are. I was one of those people who scoffed and felt defensive when people pushed their beliefs on me. I want people to know that no matter what, He delights in you. You are one a creation of His and regardless of what you're going through, there's always someone fighting for you. There is hope. I am not here to judge you... whether you believe in God or not, I'm just sharing my story. :)
Point is, it wasn't until a couple years ago that I started letting down my defenses and realizing that no matter what I did I wasn't happy. I was sleeping around trying to find someone who would love me. Someone who would validate my existence and tell me I'm beautiful. There was a huge hole in my heart and I couldn't get any peace. I developed a social anxiety disorder and my world kept getting smaller and smaller. I used food to make me temporarily feel better from all the tough stuff that was going on in my life.
This past Christmas I went to a Christian Conference for young adults (unrelated to the church I grew up in). The love I experienced there not only from others but from God Himself changed my life. I realized although I foolishly thought otherwise, He never stopped loving me even when I turned my back on Him and denied his existence for years. YEARS.
It moved me so much that my life will never be the same. You can't deny your experiences. I want to share with everyone the freedom you get from surrendering your life, your fears, your pain, your sorrow, even the good times.. everything to God.
I haven't figured out yet how to allure people to choose Jesus as their personal God and Saviour. I know all too well what a turn off those "Bible thumpers" are. I was one of those people who scoffed and felt defensive when people pushed their beliefs on me. I want people to know that no matter what, He delights in you. You are one a creation of His and regardless of what you're going through, there's always someone fighting for you. There is hope. I am not here to judge you... whether you believe in God or not, I'm just sharing my story. :)
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