Be Faithful

She is His bride. In a white dress In any mess She is blameless. She is irreplaceable. She has a voice Cause for rejoice Brings life by choice. She is faithful. Undoubtedly, Called is she To this place For ministry. Simplicity. Humility, Fluidity, Authenticity. She is a vessel. As He pours out She's a route For quenching drought. She is a warrior. She speaks powerfully, Her words undoubtedly Set the captives free. A catalyst for revival, She is made to inspire— Calling others higher, Setting hearts on fire.

On Monday nights, I attend a women’s group that is reading  a book about the negative effects of perfectionism . Every week, there’s practical homework that’s designed to help us overcome negative thought patterns, which can really hinder finding joy in life. Last week, part of the homework was to practice asking for help. As a [recovering] perfectionist, this is hard to do. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s vulnerable, and it’s definitely admitting that I don’t have it all together. Truth be told, I’m pretty sure everyone and their grandma knows that I don’t have it all together, but the possible rejection if that person doesn’t  want to  meet my newly exposed need is an overwhelming fear. However, things don’t change in a person’s comfort zone so courage over comfort is the motto I do my best to live by these days. I was sitting at home one night last week, thinking about what more I can do. Accountability has been a hot topic for me l...

I used to wish that I could lose all of my excess weight in the blink of an eye. Honestly sometimes I still do, but I’ve started to realize that in order to have long-term success, I’m going to need to practice making good decisions. Over and over, time and time again, in many different situations and seasons, I’ll be faced with choices. Should I go for a walk? Should I eat that? When should I go to bed tonight? There are so many choices we are all faced with every day. The culmination of those choices become our lifestyle, and that lifestyle affects our bodies. Most people have heard some form of the saying, “It’s about the journey, not the destination,” but have you ever stopped to think about why? Why is the journey so important? I was reflecting about the value of the journey. What does it have that the destination doesn’t? As I’ve overcome personal challenges in my life, I’ve noticed that it was during the waiting and perseverance that I grew the most in ...

Today I stood in the shower and cried. Not just a 10-second, “I-just-need-reprieve” kind of cry, but a 45-minute, “where-are-you-Jesus-I-need-you-now” kind of sob. My website/blog was supposed to have been up already, according to the timeline that I made with God at the end of 2016. I know His timing is perfect, but what if mine isn’t? I’ve constantly disappointed myself and encouraged others to expect great things from me that as of yet, I haven’t even delivered on. “Wow I suck” has been the thought that keeps rolling around in my mind, bashing into the walls creating a distracting ruckus, drawing my attention to my own shortcomings. How fitting it is that tomorrow I begin a 3 month book study on how toxic and unrealistic perfectionism is. “ You’re Loved No Matter What “. You’re loved no matter what. I’m loved no matter what. If only those words could wrap around my heart like a tight, life-changing hug and re-write the script that’s been there since I was a little girl. I’m lo...

I am faithfully expectant for 2017. I believe it’s a year where there will be an outpouring of God’s blessings that we have prayed for but lost hope in; desires that we’ve long forgotten. The enemy has discouraged and delayed, but he is defeated! Powerless to close the doors God has opened and just as powerless to open those that God has shut. I’ve seen so many get disappointed; that maybe their hearts desires are unattainable. There’s been fear that they aren’t doing something right. They begin to doubt that God is who He says He is. Perhaps they aren’t who they thought God said they were. That somehow they are disqualified from God’s best. Sometimes, the door is actually wide open, but we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s closed. With that being said, I also believe that 2017 will be a time of refinement and character development. Our ungodly beliefs and attitudes can affect how we perceive and receive the blessings that God has in the storehouse for us. It’s up to our ch...

This dwelling place of mine Has such a destiny… At first just a place to dine; To stay temporarily. Then as time passed , My roots began to spread I realized this at last Was more than a place to lay my head. Both of us, we grew As corny as it may seem. It represents all I’ve been through It’s like we’ve been a team. I just moved back in After a year of being away The place looks amazin’ ‘On point’, as one might say. I asked God what He has for me In this place that I call home. Things not seen physically Unlike new faucets made of chrome. It will be a meeting place With divine encounters of His love A refuge and a safe space Protected by God above. A greenhouse for growing, A peaceful place to recover I’ll be hidden under His wing. Tucked in close to my Lover. A place to rest and pray, Soak in the presence of the Lord I’m so blessed on this day To live in a place I can’t afford. He’s faithful, kind and great, To Him be all the glory. It was d...

I can't receive my husband with the mentality that I'm love starved because then I will make him the solution to my need for love instead of God ... and then I will get caught up in the desperation-compromise-manipulation cycle all over again (see previous post) instead of allowing him and I the freedom just to be ourselves. Being ourselves should always be enough because there should be no expectations placed on us from each other to provide something we may or may not have. I need to believe that God's love is sufficient for me. I need to know that God's everything is sufficient for me, and that I do not have to go outside of that relationship for any of my needs to be met. I want the relationship with my husband to be based on choosing to love him, regardless of what I get in return. I'll be choosing him, and he'll be choosing me, and that love will be independent from changing circumstances and situations. I want to always go to my husband whole; not bec...

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:6-10 ------------------------------------------- At my family's summer cottage, there's an island within swimming distance-- when the boat traffic isn't too obnoxious, I swim over and sometimes even swim around it. Regardless of which way I choose to swim (clockwise or counterclockwise), there is always an area where I have to work harder to swim against the current. Of cours...

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God is moving so tangibly in my life and in the lives of my family members. Ever since I participated in Restoring the Foundations inner healing ministry, there's been a shift in the spiritual atmosphere around me. After some circumstances beyond my control, I found myself struggling to pay my bills because I no longer had any financial support from my mom. At the beginning of this year I remember nights where I'd be on my knees not only praying for my family, but begging God to help me get through these really tough times. I learned that prayer and praise were keys to maintaining a positive attitude and inner peace as the world as I knew it came crashing down around me. The numbers just weren't matching up. I had no source of income and I didn't even know where my next meals were coming from. Sounds over-dramatic, sure, but poverty is very real and as someone who has never had to fear going broke, I was no longer sure about what I thought I was sure about.. I'll ...

Hey so I just wanted to send out an email letting people know what I've been up to for the last 5 months. At the beginning of February I applied for a school that is run by my church called School of Ministry. They have a few different courses but the course that I took is known as the Heart Module. I've been thinking about applying for this school for about 2 years but I finally got my stuff together and after a really tough time with depression earlier this year I decided that I need to do something that will help me change my life. Some friends that I have graduated from the school a few years ago and recommended it to me so I figured why not? I don't have much to lose; I was in a pretty crappy place in my life anyway. Right off the bat God blessed me because I did NOT have the money for tuition. I haven't worked much in the past 4 years and money is something that I don't have much of. My family has given me so much grace and luckily I was working a part-time...

It's been much too long since I've written here about what is going on in my life, especially if I look at how many life lessons I've been learning from God and how much my heart has been transformed since I started School of Ministry. Thank goodness it's mandatory here to journal with a paper and pen; otherwise I'm not sure how I'd remember it all. To follow up with a couple of my previous posts here, I did get into SoM, I did find someone to watch Max, I did get the money I needed for tuition and I did move in/settle in reasonably well. Thanks for all your prayers and support. If I think about who I was before coming here (which is sometimes hard to recall, by the way) and compare it to who I am becoming... it just blows my mind. God has given me so much revelation about my identity; so much revelation about His heart for me... it's impossible to undo all the change that has taken place, not that I would want to. One of the things God has been do...

View our group's official fundraising thermometer here from School-Fundraisers.com to see how close we've come to our fundraising goal.

"You are called into greatness. As a royal daughter of God, you are engineered for eternity, designed to make a difference. No one can take your place in God's heart, in His Kingdom, in His family. All through eternity, you will still be bringing delight to God and smiles to the faces of your brothers and sisters who dearly love you. Filled with the wisdom of the ages, every word that comes from your mouth will impart encouragement and life to those around you. But don't expect to start out with a limousine and bodyguards. The path to your true potential seldom starts with glitter and glamour, nor does it begin with an infinitely complex problem to solve. Instead, it starts right where you are, with the mundane stuff of everyday life. There you form the strength of character that God requires for the great assignments He has waiting for you. A simple act of obedience, a kind word, a selfless deed.... these are the building blocks of greatness. Every day, as you spend tim...

While I was growing up, my mother used to sing me this song: Have patience, have patience Don't be in such a hurry When you get impatient, you only start to worry Remember, remember that God is patient, too And think of all the times when others have to wait for you I recently made a [poor] choice that was made out of impatience, not faith. Impatience is something I've struggled with; I constantly need to remind myself that I cannot do things from my own power. Why steal a gift out of the closet when our Heavenly Daddy has the perfect gift for us handcrafted and just waiting to be opened? We just have to wait for Him to give it to us. It's in HIS timing, not ours. Most people, if they know they are going to a buffet, will eat very little the rest of the day in order to prepare. They will be mindful of what they eat knowing that they need to save their appetite for later. Who goes to a buffet with a full stomach? Why, then, would we eat yesterday'...

He gives strength to those who are tired and more power to those who are weak. --Isaiah 40:29 An example of faith was found on the wall of a concentration camp. On it a prisoner had carved the words: I believe in the sun, even though it doesn't shine, I believe in love, even when it isn't shown, I believe in God, even when he doesn't speak. I try to imagine the person who etched those words. I try to envision his skeletal hand gripping the broken glass or stone that cut into the wall. I try to imagine his eyes squinting through the darkness as he carved each letter. What hand could have cut such a conviction? What eyes could have seen good in such horror? There is only one answer: Eyes that chose to see the unseen. (Max Lucado)

My goal for September is to be attending the School of Ministry . This school is run by my church, and is for people between the ages of 18 and 35. Their mission is to "inspire students into deeper intimacy with Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit; through healing of the heart and a personal devotional lifestyle. In a loving and challenging environment [they] focus firstly on character growth and then on spiritual giftings by bringing the ministry of the Word and the Spirit together. [They] nurture leaders with kingdom mindsets and kingdom lifestyles to release the power of the Holy Spirit in [the students'] everyday lives." I first heard about this school when I went to my very first Heavy Rain conference in 2010. At first I didn't think anything of it. It was during that same conference that I was born again, and over the next few months as I got more involved with Catch the Fire , I met people who had been and had great things to say about it. As I dove deeper into Go...

Let there be no reservations, no walls... Just an open door in my heart for You! I want to give all that's inside of my heart to You.

God has been teaching me a lot about boundaries lately. It's not an easy lesson, let me tell you that. It came about because I kept hitting walls with people and I didn't understand why. Why aren't people letting me in? The males in my church community are so private, I thought, and they don't want to get to know me at all. I felt so rejected, and I didn't understand why they were being like that. I've never really had to deal with boundaries. In fact, I lack boundaries in many areas of my life. I blurt out what I think all the time no matter how intimate. I lack boundaries with food. I lack boundaries with the people in my life, including my family. I was informed that it's inappropriate for me to keep close male friends. At first I was so defensive. "Why!?" I asked, shocked. "What difference does it make if I'm single and they're single?!" I truly believed God used me in various intimate settings to speak to others. This ma...