Be Faithful

He gives strength to those who are tired and more power to those who are weak. --Isaiah 40:29 An example of faith was found on the wall of a concentration camp. On it a prisoner had carved the words: I believe in the sun, even though it doesn't shine, I believe in love, even when it isn't shown, I believe in God, even when he doesn't speak. I try to imagine the person who etched those words. I try to envision his skeletal hand gripping the broken glass or stone that cut into the wall. I try to imagine his eyes squinting through the darkness as he carved each letter. What hand could have cut such a conviction? What eyes could have seen good in such horror? There is only one answer: Eyes that chose to see the unseen. (Max Lucado)

My goal for September is to be attending the School of Ministry . This school is run by my church, and is for people between the ages of 18 and 35. Their mission is to "inspire students into deeper intimacy with Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit; through healing of the heart and a personal devotional lifestyle. In a loving and challenging environment [they] focus firstly on character growth and then on spiritual giftings by bringing the ministry of the Word and the Spirit together. [They] nurture leaders with kingdom mindsets and kingdom lifestyles to release the power of the Holy Spirit in [the students'] everyday lives." I first heard about this school when I went to my very first Heavy Rain conference in 2010. At first I didn't think anything of it. It was during that same conference that I was born again, and over the next few months as I got more involved with Catch the Fire , I met people who had been and had great things to say about it. As I dove deeper into Go

Let there be no reservations, no walls... Just an open door in my heart for You! I want to give all that's inside of my heart to You.

God has been teaching me a lot about boundaries lately. It's not an easy lesson, let me tell you that. It came about because I kept hitting walls with people and I didn't understand why. Why aren't people letting me in? The males in my church community are so private, I thought, and they don't want to get to know me at all. I felt so rejected, and I didn't understand why they were being like that. I've never really had to deal with boundaries. In fact, I lack boundaries in many areas of my life. I blurt out what I think all the time no matter how intimate. I lack boundaries with food. I lack boundaries with the people in my life, including my family. I was informed that it's inappropriate for me to keep close male friends. At first I was so defensive. "Why!?" I asked, shocked. "What difference does it make if I'm single and they're single?!" I truly believed God used me in various intimate settings to speak to others. This ma

Romans 5:3, 6 MSG There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't ro und up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But Go

Tell me, what has [the thief on the cross] done to warrant help? He has wasted his life.  Who is he to beg for forgiveness? He publicly scoffed at Jesus. What right does he have to pray...,  "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom"? Do you really want to know? The same right you have to pray....  You see, that is you and me on the cross.  Naked, desolate, hopeless, and estranged. That is us. That is us asking.... We don't boast. We don't produce our list. Any sacrifice appears silly when placed before God on a cross.... We, like the thief, have one more prayer. And we, like the thief, pray. And we, like the thief, hear the voice of grace. (Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment)

This goes without saying, but please pray for me. This journey will not be easy and I need all the support I can get. I have to break ungodly beliefs, and replace bad habits and thought patterns with new ones. I'm worth this. I was made for more! I pray for God's wisdom, revelation, and intervening power to be an integral part of my food choices from now on. I pray that I remember the truth of who I am in God. I pray that God continues to cover me with his mercy and grace. I am so thankful that He is faithful to His children. "God, I recognize I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and in Your indwelling power to walk away from things that are not beneficial for me." (Made to Crave, pg 52)

Last week I had quite the challenging week. God has been bringing to my attention moreso than ever that I have been made to crave Him. There is nothing that can fill our deep hearts except His love; and there is nowhere we can go that will be as peaceful as His presence. I didn't want to admit it but food is a problem area in my life - and I'm not talking just physically. It affects me emotionally, and it affects me spiritually. I let it consume my thoughts and I plan my life around it. What can I eat next? When is my next meal? Where is my next meal? How long has it been since I last ate?  What do I feel like eating? Feelings can be so deceiving. Just like our minds, the enemy tries to play with our hearts. What are feelings, really? They are just as much, if not more, manipulated by the enemy than the mind is. I saw my psychotherapist on Thursday for the first time since mid-March. We were going over what I had  (and hadn't) done since the last time I saw her. I had

‎"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe" (Ephesians 1:17-19)

Lord, help me to be the kind of person who allows people to change. Help me to pray for people instead of judging them. I want to release people into Your hands and not bring condemnation back on myself by holding them to me with my unforgiveness. Enable me to forgive people as often as it takes, just as You have said to do in Your word. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day he returns to you, saying, "I repent," you shall forgive him.  - Luke 17:4

Hearing God's voice is as simple as: 1.               Quieting yourself down, 2.              Fixing your eyes on Jesus, 3.              Tuning to spontaneity (spontaneous thoughts) 4.              Writing down what you hear -Mark Virkler

"If you have a leaky faucet in your house so you cut the lawn, take the garbage out and sweep the driveway, it won't solve the leak. Doing the wrong thing faster, better or with kingdom values will not solve the problem. Trying to solve an inside problem by working outside is just a dumb idea.  Happiness is an inside job! If you are unhappy on the inside nothing you do on the outside will solve it . People are often under the illusion that they will be happy when; they get married, pay off their debt, get their degree, win that competition, have children, write that book or move to a certain city etc...But the truth is that internal problems can not be fixed with external solutions. Many marriages are destroyed by this illusion; Johnny doesn't make me happy. After 15 years of marriage Mary still doesn't turn me on. NO ONE can make you happy! It is humanly impossible to make someone happy. Whenever we make our happiness the responsibility of a person, accomplishment o

Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble," Faith-shaking trouble; when darkness covers and almost snuffs out our fire. "But take heart! I have overcome the world."  - John 16:33 There are 2 overlapping realities - the troubled world and the peace of being in the presence of Jesus Christ. He promised us this peace, but he also promised us trouble... Individually, these 2 realities are not very good theologies: "Bad things happen but that's how life is," "God can do anything and therefore I will never suffer!" Instead, we need to combine the 2 and know that although there will be troubling times in life, we can have the confidence that Jesus is an overcoming Savior. "We have this hope as an anchor to the soul, firm and secure, it enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf" - Hebrews 6:19 - 20 Jesus becomes our middle man so that we can be close to God.

As I was thinking to myself and talking to God about how things are tough in certain areas of my life right now, and thinking that perhaps I should write in my new journal, God prodded me to write here instead. Maybe there's someone out there who can relate, or maybe somebody will lift me up in some much needed prayer, or maybe God knows that this is easier than writing it out by hand... regardless of what the reason, I'm here now. I feel like I'm constantly being attacked in certain areas of my life over and over, like waves crashing against the shore. I'm quite proud of the progress I've made in dealing with stressful situations and I've been digging my heels into His unfailing love to keep me from being swept away with the tide. God is my rock and His Word keeps me grounded. Thank You Daddy. By all standards of the college, elementary school, and my own, I am not doing well in my placement. I am working as a student EA in a public school. Without gettin

I have been seeking acceptance from the opposite sex for as long as I can remember having raging hormones (so lets say 12 or 13?). I felt as though the only way I could prove to others that I was worth loving was if I was in a relationship. (OBVIOUSLY I have something to offer otherwise I wouldn't have a boyfriend, right?! hah ya ok then) I've had more boyfriends than I can count on my hands and feet, and many of them I compromised my values for; offering myself sexually to get that sense of belonging and security that I had never really had because of things that happened in my childhood. I traded sex-related things for snuggles, because I felt like that was the only way I could convince others to love me, even if it was just for a night... what lies! Christmases have often been hard for me because my family is so dysfunctional, and this past Christmas has been no exception. It was a little different this time though because I was born again in 2010 at a conference that my [n