Posts

Grace Grows Here

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Today I stood in the shower and cried. Not just a 10-second, “I-just-need-reprieve” kind of cry, but a 45-minute, “where-are-you-Jesus-I-need-you-now” kind of sob. My website/blog was supposed to have been up already, according to the timeline that I made with God at the end of 2016. I know His timing is perfect, but what if mine isn’t? I’ve constantly disappointed myself and encouraged others to expect great things from me that as of yet, I haven’t even delivered on. “Wow I suck” has been the thought that keeps rolling around in my mind, bashing into the walls creating a distracting ruckus, drawing my attention to my own shortcomings. How fitting it is that tomorrow I begin a 3 month book study on how toxic and unrealistic perfectionism is. “ You’re Loved No Matter What “. You’re loved no matter what. I’m loved no matter what. If only those words could wrap around my heart like a tight, life-changing hug and re-write the script that’s been there since I was a little girl. I’m lo...

The Time is Now

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I am faithfully expectant for 2017. I believe it’s a year where there will be an outpouring of God’s blessings that we have prayed for but lost hope in; desires that we’ve long forgotten. The enemy has discouraged and delayed, but he is defeated! Powerless to close the doors God has opened and just as powerless to open those that God has shut. I’ve seen so many get disappointed; that maybe their hearts desires are unattainable. There’s been fear that they aren’t doing something right. They begin to doubt that God is who He says He is. Perhaps they aren’t who they thought God said they were. That somehow they are disqualified from God’s best. Sometimes, the door is actually wide open, but we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s closed. With that being said, I also believe that 2017 will be a time of refinement and character development. Our ungodly beliefs and attitudes can affect how we perceive and receive the blessings that God has in the storehouse for us. It’s up to our ch...

Home

This dwelling place of mine Has such a destiny… At first just a place to dine; To stay temporarily. Then as time passed , My roots began to spread I realized this at last Was more than a place to lay my head. Both of us, we grew As corny as it may seem. It represents all I’ve been through It’s like we’ve been a team. I just moved back in After a year of being away The place looks amazin’ ‘On point’, as one might say. I asked God what He has for me In this place that I call home. Things not seen physically Unlike new faucets made of chrome. It will be a meeting place With divine encounters of His love A refuge and a safe space Protected by God above. A greenhouse for growing, A peaceful place to recover I’ll be hidden under His wing. Tucked in close to my Lover. A place to rest and pray, Soak in the presence of the Lord I’m so blessed on this day To live in a place I can’t afford. He’s faithful, kind and great, To Him be all the glory. It was d...

Love Starved

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I can't receive my husband with the mentality that I'm love starved because then I will make him the solution to my need for love instead of God ... and then I will get caught up in the desperation-compromise-manipulation cycle all over again (see previous post) instead of allowing him and I the freedom just to be ourselves. Being ourselves should always be enough because there should be no expectations placed on us from each other to provide something we may or may not have. I need to believe that God's love is sufficient for me. I need to know that God's everything is sufficient for me, and that I do not have to go outside of that relationship for any of my needs to be met. I want the relationship with my husband to be based on choosing to love him, regardless of what I get in return. I'll be choosing him, and he'll be choosing me, and that love will be independent from changing circumstances and situations. I want to always go to my husband whole; not bec...

Through the Fire

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Refiner's Fire

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:6-10 ------------------------------------------- At my family's summer cottage, there's an island within swimming distance-- when the boat traffic isn't too obnoxious, I swim over and sometimes even swim around it. Regardless of which way I choose to swim (clockwise or counterclockwise), there is always an area where I have to work harder to swim against the current. Of cours...

Upstate New York

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