Be Faithful

Let there be no reservations, no walls... Just an open door in my heart for You! I want to give all that's inside of my heart to You.

God has been teaching me a lot about boundaries lately. It's not an easy lesson, let me tell you that. It came about because I kept hitting walls with people and I didn't understand why. Why aren't people letting me in? The males in my church community are so private, I thought, and they don't want to get to know me at all. I felt so rejected, and I didn't understand why they were being like that. I've never really had to deal with boundaries. In fact, I lack boundaries in many areas of my life. I blurt out what I think all the time no matter how intimate. I lack boundaries with food. I lack boundaries with the people in my life, including my family. I was informed that it's inappropriate for me to keep close male friends. At first I was so defensive. "Why!?" I asked, shocked. "What difference does it make if I'm single and they're single?!" I truly believed God used me in various intimate settings to speak to others. This ma...

Romans 5:3, 6 MSG There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't ro und up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But Go...

Tell me, what has [the thief on the cross] done to warrant help? He has wasted his life.  Who is he to beg for forgiveness? He publicly scoffed at Jesus. What right does he have to pray...,  "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom"? Do you really want to know? The same right you have to pray....  You see, that is you and me on the cross.  Naked, desolate, hopeless, and estranged. That is us. That is us asking.... We don't boast. We don't produce our list. Any sacrifice appears silly when placed before God on a cross.... We, like the thief, have one more prayer. And we, like the thief, pray. And we, like the thief, hear the voice of grace. (Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment)

This goes without saying, but please pray for me. This journey will not be easy and I need all the support I can get. I have to break ungodly beliefs, and replace bad habits and thought patterns with new ones. I'm worth this. I was made for more! I pray for God's wisdom, revelation, and intervening power to be an integral part of my food choices from now on. I pray that I remember the truth of who I am in God. I pray that God continues to cover me with his mercy and grace. I am so thankful that He is faithful to His children. "God, I recognize I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and in Your indwelling power to walk away from things that are not beneficial for me." (Made to Crave, pg 52)

Last week I had quite the challenging week. God has been bringing to my attention moreso than ever that I have been made to crave Him. There is nothing that can fill our deep hearts except His love; and there is nowhere we can go that will be as peaceful as His presence. I didn't want to admit it but food is a problem area in my life - and I'm not talking just physically. It affects me emotionally, and it affects me spiritually. I let it consume my thoughts and I plan my life around it. What can I eat next? When is my next meal? Where is my next meal? How long has it been since I last ate?  What do I feel like eating? Feelings can be so deceiving. Just like our minds, the enemy tries to play with our hearts. What are feelings, really? They are just as much, if not more, manipulated by the enemy than the mind is. I saw my psychotherapist on Thursday for the first time since mid-March. We were going over what I had  (and hadn't) done since the last time I saw her...

‎"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe" (Ephesians 1:17-19)