Be Faithful

On Monday nights, I attend a women’s group that is reading  a book about the negative effects of perfectionism . Every week, there’s practical homework that’s designed to help us overcome negative thought patterns, which can really hinder finding joy in life. Last week, part of the homework was to practice asking for help. As a [recovering] perfectionist, this is hard to do. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s vulnerable, and it’s definitely admitting that I don’t have it all together. Truth be told, I’m pretty sure everyone and their grandma knows that I don’t have it all together, but the possible rejection if that person doesn’t  want to  meet my newly exposed need is an overwhelming fear. However, things don’t change in a person’s comfort zone so courage over comfort is the motto I do my best to live by these days. I was sitting at home one night last week, thinking about what more I can do. Accountability has been a hot topic for me lately because it’s something that I know wil

I used to wish that I could lose all of my excess weight in the blink of an eye. Honestly sometimes I still do, but I’ve started to realize that in order to have long-term success, I’m going to need to practice making good decisions. Over and over, time and time again, in many different situations and seasons, I’ll be faced with choices. Should I go for a walk? Should I eat that? When should I go to bed tonight? There are so many choices we are all faced with every day. The culmination of those choices become our lifestyle, and that lifestyle affects our bodies. Most people have heard some form of the saying, “It’s about the journey, not the destination,” but have you ever stopped to think about why? Why is the journey so important? I was reflecting about the value of the journey. What does it have that the destination doesn’t? As I’ve overcome personal challenges in my life, I’ve noticed that it was during the waiting and perseverance that I grew the most in faith and

Today I stood in the shower and cried. Not just a 10-second, “I-just-need-reprieve” kind of cry, but a 45-minute, “where-are-you-Jesus-I-need-you-now” kind of sob. My website/blog was supposed to have been up already, according to the timeline that I made with God at the end of 2016. I know His timing is perfect, but what if mine isn’t? I’ve constantly disappointed myself and encouraged others to expect great things from me that as of yet, I haven’t even delivered on. “Wow I suck” has been the thought that keeps rolling around in my mind, bashing into the walls creating a distracting ruckus, drawing my attention to my own shortcomings. How fitting it is that tomorrow I begin a 3 month book study on how toxic and unrealistic perfectionism is. “ You’re Loved No Matter What “. You’re loved no matter what. I’m loved no matter what. If only those words could wrap around my heart like a tight, life-changing hug and re-write the script that’s been there since I was a little girl. I’m lo

I am faithfully expectant for 2017. I believe it’s a year where there will be an outpouring of God’s blessings that we have prayed for but lost hope in; desires that we’ve long forgotten. The enemy has discouraged and delayed, but he is defeated! Powerless to close the doors God has opened and just as powerless to open those that God has shut. I’ve seen so many get disappointed; that maybe their hearts desires are unattainable. There’s been fear that they aren’t doing something right. They begin to doubt that God is who He says He is. Perhaps they aren’t who they thought God said they were. That somehow they are disqualified from God’s best. Sometimes, the door is actually wide open, but we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s closed. With that being said, I also believe that 2017 will be a time of refinement and character development. Our ungodly beliefs and attitudes can affect how we perceive and receive the blessings that God has in the storehouse for us. It’s up to our ch

This dwelling place of mine Has such a destiny… At first just a place to dine; To stay temporarily. Then as time passed , My roots began to spread I realized this at last Was more than a place to lay my head. Both of us, we grew As corny as it may seem. It represents all I’ve been through It’s like we’ve been a team. I just moved back in After a year of being away The place looks amazin’ ‘On point’, as one might say. I asked God what He has for me In this place that I call home. Things not seen physically Unlike new faucets made of chrome. It will be a meeting place With divine encounters of His love A refuge and a safe space Protected by God above. A greenhouse for growing, A peaceful place to recover I’ll be hidden under His wing. Tucked in close to my Lover. A place to rest and pray, Soak in the presence of the Lord I’m so blessed on this day To live in a place I can’t afford. He’s faithful, kind and great, To Him be all the glory. It was d

I can't receive my husband with the mentality that I'm love starved because then I will make him the solution to my need for love instead of God ... and then I will get caught up in the desperation-compromise-manipulation cycle all over again (see previous post) instead of allowing him and I the freedom just to be ourselves. Being ourselves should always be enough because there should be no expectations placed on us from each other to provide something we may or may not have. I need to believe that God's love is sufficient for me. I need to know that God's everything is sufficient for me, and that I do not have to go outside of that relationship for any of my needs to be met. I want the relationship with my husband to be based on choosing to love him, regardless of what I get in return. I'll be choosing him, and he'll be choosing me, and that love will be independent from changing circumstances and situations. I want to always go to my husband whole; not bec